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A.C. Douglas

So I logged on to the website of my friendly local phone company, which is also my friendly local ISP and supplier of my DSL line, to add a new eMail box to my account (I'm allowed 10) to handle any eMail from this board addressed to my big-cheese incarnation as A.C. Douglas, Site Administrator. An absolutely routine procedure that typically takes about 3 minutes or so. I enter all the required data, and choose as my username, cmof_admin, which will give me the eMail address, cmof_admin-at-verizon.net.

So far, so good.

I then click on SUBMIT, and it sends me back to my main account just as it should. I then scroll down to the eMail box section to make certain all is OK and the new mailbox set to go, and see this lovely message waiting for me: "We encountered a problem processing your request. Please try again later."

Oh jeez. What a pain in the ass. But, look, all computer systems have their transient glitches, especially monster, complex ones such as Verizon's. So I wait 15 minutes or so, and then go through the drill again — with the same bloody result. Over the next day and a half I must have gone through that drill some dozen times, ending always with that now infuriating, "We encountered a problem processing your request. Please try again later."

Now I'm really pissed. I call Verizon DSL tech support, and get...someone in Bombay, India, name of "Ernie". Uh-huh. Ernie. Ernie, whose Indian accent is so thick I can barely understand him.

I know I'm in trouble now, but I keep my cool 'cause I got a problem, and blowing up at this "technician" — someone recruited off the street, given a one-week orientation course, handed a script, and then turned loose on an unsuspecting public — ain't gonna do me any good.

Needless to say, Ernie is way out of his depths with this problem, and I manage to get him to "escalate" the ticket to someone who actually knows the system software: Ralph, in the good ol' US of A as it turns out.

Long story short (it was some hour and a half long, actually), Ralph taps into my computer so that he can see everything I'm doing on his own monitor screen, involves two other Verizon technicians — real ones this time — who do the same, and after all three watch me go through the drill another four times with the same "We encountered a problem" result, they each try creating a new eMail box in my account independently using their own computers, and guess what? That's right. It worked perfectly for them, and I now have three brand new dummy eMail boxes with dummy usernames in my account all of which I'll, of course, have to delete because the dummy usernames they used can't be changed.

Their conclusion? Verizon's system software is working perfectly contrary to my insistence that something was badly amiss with that software. The problem, they inform me, is on my end, not theirs. My operating system is broken somewhere, they tell me, and all I have to do is reinstall it, and then all will be well. I mean, what the hell. That'll take me only, oh, two DAYS or so to get everything up and running again. No big deal.

At this point, I'm ready to commit murder. I KNOW they're wrong, but there they are. Those just-created 3 dummy eMail boxes leering at me from my computer screen. I don't have a leg to stand on.

I say thank you, and hang up.

What to do? No way I'm going to reinstall my operating system if for no reason other than I KNOW the problem has NOTHING to do with my operating system. So I cop out by going over to my domain server at NetSol to create a new eMail box there — at $20 per annum. I enter all the data using cmof_admin as my username which will give me the eMail address, cmof_admin-at-acdouglas.com. The instant I enter that username, up comes an error box that says, "Illegal username. Choose another username, please," or something to that effect.

Illegal username? What the hell is that all about? And then it hit me what that's all about. I should have known better. I immediately log off NetSol, go back to Verizon, and go through the drill again, only this time I enter the username, cmofad, which will give me the eMail address, cmofad-at-verizon.net. The new eMail box set up perfectly without so much as a whimper.

Three bloody Verizon technicians all saw me type in the username, cmof_admin, not once, but four times, and not one of them picked up that admin, either by itself or as part of a username, is illegal for ordinary users (it's what's called a "reserved name")! But just as bad as — worse than, actually — those genius technicians not picking up on it instantly, Verizon's software didn't pick up on it either as it should have the instant the username was entered, thereby leading the user to think all has gone well.

It's a great and competent world out there today, where folks really know their shit.

Yes indeed.

Idiots!

ACD

P.S. I called Verizon DSL tech support early the next morning, got a savvy American technician first shot out of the box, had her look up the ticket to familiarize herself with the problem, and then gently suggested that perhaps it might be a good idea for Verizon to put a filter on that username field to catch such errors as they happen, and change that totally (and literally) dumb "We encountered a problem" error message so that it actually says what the problem encountered was, and doesn't invite the user to, "Please try again later," so that he can make the same mistake over, and over, and over again.

She agreed with both suggestions, and said she'd escalate the info to the proper department posthaste.

I'm going to try creating another eMail box again late next month with username cmof_admin.

Any bets on what that will produce?

Another Verizon Story and I'll cut it as short as I can:

I had two land lines, one for DLS the other for fax. I called Verizon, ended up in India, asked for cancellation of the fax line, gave the number, the operator repeated it, I confirmed. Three days later I had no DSL, called my ISP who sent two techs to my house to check every nook and cranny for the lost DSL. No fault with the ISP, must be with Verizon. Yes, India had cancelled the wrong line! I was told it takes four weeks for Verizon to issue a new DSL. My ISP, who also supplies telephone and TV access, offered to get me my DSL by switching from Verizon to their service, which of course I accepted even though it would take them two weeks, still some business connection with Verizon. It meant I was without a computer for twelve days. I survived.

Everything in tip top shape - for one week! Then no telephone. There is an odd arrangement here, LocalTel leases the actual wires from Verizon and by contract can not do any work on the overhead line stretching from the pole across the street to the top of my house, and Verizon can not step inside of my house to check the inside line. The two entities had many conversations with each other, the result was a Verizon man checking the overhead line, found a short, fixed it, I had telephone service again. After three hours I did not have telephone service. I do not have a cell phone, which left me without a connection to the outside world except my car. Drove to the LocalTel office, fortunately only five blocks from the house, but the people at Verizon - three blocks from my house! - had already gone home. LocalTel loaned me one of their cell phones. Next noon a young Verizon man came in a big truck, raised the bucket to the top of the pole, did some work up there, came back down, rang my doorbell, moved back from the door to comply with this dumb regulation and practically shouted at me that he found two bare wires, touching each other whenever the wind blew, causing a short. Yes, he fixed it.

First of the month I received the monthly bill from Verizon charging me everything they had not supplied me with: DSL and service for two telephone lines! LocalTel took care of that!

We hope to have fibre optic within two month and will be completely independant of Verizon. Can't happen soon enough!

Yep. Sounds like vintage Verizon -- that is, when you have to communicate with them through India. With the single exception noted in my above post, Verizon has been pretty good with its technical help as long as I got to someone in the US and not some computer-ignorant-man-in-the-street in India posing as a real technician.

BTW, as expected, Verizon still hasn't corrected its Verizon Central software to fix the problem I encountered as related in my above post.

And so it goes.

ACD

Outsourcing has its limitations.

Cheers,
~Karl

Only testing to see if my membership is accepted again. I have never left, though never posted too often, but I was surprised my password had changed and I had to accept a new one. All's well now - I hope.

Lis

My Verizon Story - Short version.

Had Problem. Called. Got India. Fired Verizon.

Amazing stories.

My own experience with Indian IT support comes through work; my company has outsourced the IT helpdesk to India. I've had both good and bad experiences; problems with solutions incorporated into the technicians' scripts get solved perfectly efficiently. What gets me is that if I have a hardware problem -- one that, by definition, cannot be solved at a distance of 10,000 miles -- the rules still require me to go through the step of logging a helpdesk ticket with India, explaining the problem over the phone (no fake English names, at least), and then waiting one or two days for the "escalation" to take place that allows our local IT person (who sits 50 feet from my office) to stroll over and replace, say, the monitor that had gone blank two days earlier...

The issue is not with India; many of the company's India technicians are truly expert; the problem is with the business process we're forced to follow.

For those who miss Foyle's War, may I recommend a series from 1979 on Masterpiece Theatre: Danger: UXB. It stars Anthony Andrews (Brideshead Revisted) and is a spellbinding series about the men in WWII in Britain who had the job of defusing and disposing of unexploded bombs which landed all over England, in the thousands. If I remember, these bombs turned up decades after the war, lying deep in the land. This series is really hairraising at times and shows that not all the dangerous battles were on the battleground. I don't think these men get the credit due them. You always hear about the fighter pilots or the soldiers on the field. But these guys truly lived dangerous lives; one false move and the bombs exploded.

It's a gripping and thrilling as it was the first time I saw it and for those with Netflix, add it to your queue (toot sweet!

ACD

If you have Netflix or belong to Blockbuster you might want to rent A Little Bit of Fry and Laurie.

lulu wrote:For those who miss Foyle's War, may I recommend a series from 1979 on Masterpiece Theatre: Danger: UXB. It stars Anthony Andrews (Brideshead Revisted) and is a spellbinding series about the men in WWII in Britain who had the job of defusing and disposing of unexploded bombs which landed all over England, in the thousands. If I remember, these bombs turned up decades after the war, lying deep in the land. This series is really hairraising at times and shows that not all the dangerous battles were on the battleground. I don't think these men get the credit due them. You always hear about the fighter pilots or the soldiers on the field. But these guys truly lived dangerous lives; one false move and the bombs exploded.

It's a gripping and thrilling as it was the first time I saw it and for those with Netflix, add it to your queue (toot sweet!

ACD

If you have Netflix or belong to Blockbuster you might want to rent A Little Bit of Fry and Laurie.

What? Have you now taken to signing your posts, "ACD"? You'll be hearing from my lawyers.

ACD

Just checking to see if you read my posts.

Recommended lists of ‘essential’ reading are the most pernicious ‘to do’ lists of all. Lists of physical achievements or magical holiday destinations or wonderful restaurants or fabulous hotels make you feel like your life has been wasted; a list of great books you should have read makes you feel like your brain has been wasted.

Most people embarking on a journey into a new book will feel they have to hack through a hundred pages of dense undergrowth before their conscience will allow them to give it up as a lost cause. But how many people feel secure enough in their own judgment even to do that? How many times have we all ploughed on to the end to find there’s actually no treasure after all? A book, even a useless one, can take several days out of your life so it’s a big investment.

The best way to fight the massed ranks of recommended books is with an offensively glib and, if possible, ill-informed reason for not bothering with them.

http://entertainment.timesonline.co.uk/ ... 773601.ece

Copyright 2008 Times Newspapers Ltd.

Andrew: When you quote an excerpt of an article from elsewhere, it would be lots less confusing to readers if you would enclose it between BBCode quote tags so that a reader knows instantly it's a quote from elsewhere, and not your own words.

Just a suggestion.

ACD

One Book Not to Read Before I Die:

Can’t Be Arsed: 101 Things Not to Do Before You Die by Richard Wilson (Portico Books, £9.99)

Thank you, Andrew, for warning us of this idiot's drivel. (The occasional bullseye merely shows that even an idiot can get lucky, once in a while.)

ACD wrote:Andrew: When you quote an excerpt of an article from elsewhere, it would be lots less confusing to readers if you would enclose it between BBCode quote tags so that a reader knows instantly it's a quote from elsewhere, and not your own words.

Just a suggestion.

ACD

And an excellent suggestion it is. I don’t know how to do that, but I expect I’ll figure it out. BTW, any of my posts with a copyright from somebody tacked on the end is quoting that somebody.

Sept. 22, 1862

A Proclamation by the President of the United States

I, Abraham Lincoln, President of the United States of America, and Commander-in-Chief of the Army and Navy thereof, do hereby proclaim and declare…

That on the first day of January, in the year of our Lord one thousand eight hundred and sixty-three, all person held as slaves... shall be then, thenceforward, and forever, free

In witness whereof, I have hereunto set my hand, and caused the seal of the United States to be affixed.

Done at the City of Washington, this Twenty-second day of September, in the year of our Lord one thousand eight hundred and sixty-two, and of the Independence of the United States the eighty-seventh.

Abraham Lincoln

pczipott wrote:Thank you, Andrew, for warning us of this idiot's drivel. (The occasional bullseye merely shows that even an idiot can get lucky, once in a while.)

One of my favorite aphorisms: "Even a stopped clock is right twice a day." (To be used with reference to tiresome nimnods whose rare correct asssessment is used as proof of their keen insight.)